...SPIN...

...SPIN...


My heart is heavy
Filled with the memories of a past life

Filled with nonsense
Sadness & Anger
Laughter & Joy
Worry & Fear
Restlessness

Where did hope go
Why can’t I see ahead or plan

I am so tired
All I want to do is crawl up next to you and fall asleep
But next to you sleep won’t come

My head is full
It knows reason
It quietly speaks to my heart

They try to make sense of everything
But never do

Never agreeing on anything
Hearing
But not listening to what the other has to say

Fighting the truth
Swapping memories back and forth
Twisting things like a Rubik’s Cube

I know I’m here somewhere

I am trying to find myself in ink to paper
Trying to make sense of the life that came before
Trying to make sense of you and I
Or maybe
Trying to finally hear something said long ago

Forever talking in circles are my heart and my head
Making me dizzy
Forever I spin

Never wanting to forget
But feeling cursed with this memory

I gave you a broken heart
Filled with fear and pain
But it still had hope
Happiness
It let you in
It loved all of your promises
It loved you
It planned

You knowingly kept yourself from me
You told me just enough so I wouldn’t know

Still my head knew the truth
Your eyes told it all
But my heart refused listen
It continued to fall

Expecting you to catch it
To catch me
Not just stand there and stare
Not to have you look through me
Like I wasn’t even there

Who were you think of
When you looked through me
When let me walk away

You helped me move
You let me go 
Then you asked me to stay

You never told me anything
If I hadn’t asked
You wouldn't have said

Still
I know I don’t know everything

The rest is locked inside your head

You ask me what I’m thinking
But what I have to say you don’t want to hear
You shout at me to be quiet
To shut up
Because the truth is something you fear

But it’s something you must face
It’s something you & I already know
You can't hold on to something
You've already let go

~ Spin ~
Written by G.,G.Rae
Copyright© 2010
Ginger Gonzales

 All Right Reserved