True Reflection
I am sitting across from a woman
And what I see
Is my very own reflection staring back at me
I remember sitting across from this same reflection about a year ago
And what I saw was a woman
Whose fears and doubts
Would not let her go
I was living with a lot of grief
I was depressed all the time
And every night before I went to sleep
For hours I would cry
I felt like I was morning a death
But no one I loved had passed
When I realized
It was my own life I was in morning for
I knew I had to change things fast
I couldn’t go on living this way
Because I wasn’t living at all
And if I hadn’t changed things when I did
I never would have recovered from my fall
I fell hard when I fell in love
It hurt when I hit the ground
When he decided not to catch me
He just left me lying there face down
I had the strength to get back up
But lacked the courage to go far
I guess that’s just what happens
When we forget who we are
I realized I would have to face my regrets
I would have to confront them all head on
If I ever wanted to push through the pain
If I was ever going to move on
So
I went into the attic
To see if I could find
The boxes of all the vivid dreams and plans I had left behind
I expected to find more boxes
But when I got up there
I only counted three
Empty
But with a message written on each one
Remember who you were
Know who you are
~ & ~
Figure out who you will be
Those messages etched into my mind
So simple
Meant to open my eyes and make me think
Think about my life from every angle
From the moments that were good
To the ones that stink
Because these are the moments that define who I am
They might make laugh
They might make me cry
How I handle them
Is how I’ll be remembered
Long after the day I die
I woke the next morning
I was having breakfast with my family
Not yet knowing I would find
The revelations to those messages
That still echoed through my mind
I realized
When I looked over at my mother as she sat across from me
That she was the true reflection of who I will someday be
If I went over and spoke to her
What would she say
Would she tell me what her life was like before her hair turned gray
Would she tell me about all of the vivid dreams and plans she had when she was young
And how most of them were placed in boxes
Then put into the attic
When her adult life had finally begun
Would she talk about her accomplishments
Would she speak of her regrets
Would she mention why she never returned to her boxes
Would she say why she lets them sit
Will she clean out her attic one day
And when she does
Will she realize that her life did not truly start
And it won’t until she ignores her fears and doubts
And listens to her heart
Will she find the courage one day
To at least try those things she wanted to do
And when she does
Will those dreams become more vivid
Then they ever were when they were new
One day
Will we sit and reminisce on her life after her hair turned gray
Will she have fewer regrets to mention by the time she has reached her dying day
And on that day as I sit beside her
Will she look over at me and see
The true reflection of who she once was
That will live on inside of me
My thoughts were distracted for only a moment
By the sound of my daughter playing in the room across from me
And what I saw when I looked at her
Was the true reflection of who I once was smiling back at me
If she came over and spoke to me
What would she say
Would her words remind me of what it was like to laugh and play all day
Would she tell me about all the vivid dreams and plans she has for when she grows
Will she have the courage to follow her heart
I guess in time will know
Will she learn enough from her grandmother and I
Or will she make the same mistakes
Will she have the strength to get back on her feet and move on
If her heart ever truly breaks
Will she always refuse to let her fears and doubts control her life
One day when she does something wrong
Will she go back and make it right
Will she keep her plans and dreams out of the attic
Will she at least try to make them come true
Will she know
Trying is the way to live without regret
Will she realize
Trying our best
Is all any of us can do
One day when she sits across from me
Will she look over at me and see
The true reflection of who I am
And who she will someday be
A glimpse into my future
A glimpse into my past
A realization of who I am
Opening my mind enough to make it last
Whenever I look into the mirror now
For a moment I always see
The reflections of my mother and daughter
Looking back at me
Reminding me of my future
Reminding me of my past
And reminding me
That if we all learn to practice what we preach
We will learn to live at last
I am sitting across from a woman
And what I see
Is my very own reflection staring back at me
I remember sitting across from this same reflection about a year ago
And what I saw was a woman
Whose fears and doubts
Would not let her go
I was living with a lot of grief
I was depressed all the time
And every night before I went to sleep
For hours I would cry
I felt like I was morning a death
But no one I loved had passed
When I realized
It was my own life I was in morning for
I knew I had to change things fast
I couldn’t go on living this way
Because I wasn’t living at all
And if I hadn’t changed things when I did
I never would have recovered from my fall
I fell hard when I fell in love
It hurt when I hit the ground
When he decided not to catch me
He just left me lying there face down
I had the strength to get back up
But lacked the courage to go far
I guess that’s just what happens
When we forget who we are
I realized I would have to face my regrets
I would have to confront them all head on
If I ever wanted to push through the pain
If I was ever going to move on
So
I went into the attic
To see if I could find
The boxes of all the vivid dreams and plans I had left behind
I expected to find more boxes
But when I got up there
I only counted three
Empty
But with a message written on each one
Remember who you were
Know who you are
~ & ~
Figure out who you will be
Those messages etched into my mind
So simple
Meant to open my eyes and make me think
Think about my life from every angle
From the moments that were good
To the ones that stink
Because these are the moments that define who I am
They might make laugh
They might make me cry
How I handle them
Is how I’ll be remembered
Long after the day I die
I woke the next morning
I was having breakfast with my family
Not yet knowing I would find
The revelations to those messages
That still echoed through my mind
I realized
When I looked over at my mother as she sat across from me
That she was the true reflection of who I will someday be
If I went over and spoke to her
What would she say
Would she tell me what her life was like before her hair turned gray
Would she tell me about all of the vivid dreams and plans she had when she was young
And how most of them were placed in boxes
Then put into the attic
When her adult life had finally begun
Would she talk about her accomplishments
Would she speak of her regrets
Would she mention why she never returned to her boxes
Would she say why she lets them sit
Will she clean out her attic one day
And when she does
Will she realize that her life did not truly start
And it won’t until she ignores her fears and doubts
And listens to her heart
Will she find the courage one day
To at least try those things she wanted to do
And when she does
Will those dreams become more vivid
Then they ever were when they were new
One day
Will we sit and reminisce on her life after her hair turned gray
Will she have fewer regrets to mention by the time she has reached her dying day
And on that day as I sit beside her
Will she look over at me and see
The true reflection of who she once was
That will live on inside of me
My thoughts were distracted for only a moment
By the sound of my daughter playing in the room across from me
And what I saw when I looked at her
Was the true reflection of who I once was smiling back at me
If she came over and spoke to me
What would she say
Would her words remind me of what it was like to laugh and play all day
Would she tell me about all the vivid dreams and plans she has for when she grows
Will she have the courage to follow her heart
I guess in time will know
Will she learn enough from her grandmother and I
Or will she make the same mistakes
Will she have the strength to get back on her feet and move on
If her heart ever truly breaks
Will she always refuse to let her fears and doubts control her life
One day when she does something wrong
Will she go back and make it right
Will she keep her plans and dreams out of the attic
Will she at least try to make them come true
Will she know
Trying is the way to live without regret
Will she realize
Trying our best
Is all any of us can do
One day when she sits across from me
Will she look over at me and see
The true reflection of who I am
And who she will someday be
A glimpse into my future
A glimpse into my past
A realization of who I am
Opening my mind enough to make it last
Whenever I look into the mirror now
For a moment I always see
The reflections of my mother and daughter
Looking back at me
Reminding me of my future
Reminding me of my past
And reminding me
That if we all learn to practice what we preach
We will learn to live at last
Written by G.,G.Rae
Copyright © 2004
Ginger Gonzales
All Rights Reserved
No comments:
Post a Comment